Who would you
rather be with and mirroring oneanother?
Your best friend who loves pizza as
much as you do, who's crazy about basketball like you are, who
watches the same programs on TV as you; or your next-door neighbor
who's a vegetarian, hates sports, and watches those shows that will
bore you to dreamland?
The answer is obvious. You would
want to be around people who have the same behaviors, attitudes,
and values as yours.
Birds of the same feather flock together.
like each other's company because they share a common bond -
their love for books. Basketball fanatics flock together
because they can RELATE to each other's interests and
If you really want someone to like
and trust you, you've got to exhibit the same qualities as that
person. And theres no better way to do this than by using body
language. Heres how it goes:
Match their facial expressions,
gestures, posture, speech, styles, actions, breathing patterns,
values and beliefs. Put yourself in their shoes. In other words, BE
By doing this, you are also
matching their way of thinking. You may easily adapt to their inner
thoughts and views.
You may also do some crossover
matching. For example, you talk at the same rate as their
breathing. Or you can scratch your chin every time their eyes
blink. Get the idea?
Be genuinely interested and curious
with everything you can find out about them. Discover their
attitude. Know their life story.
This is what we call mirroring
But mirroring should not be
confused with mimicry. You should act with courtesy and caution.
Never let the person you're
mirroring be aware of what you're doing. Just imagine acting
out shamelessly what the other person is doing. Every time he
stands, you stand. When he scratches his head, you also scratch
your head. That would be insulting. Never let the person you´re
mirroring oneanother have any chance to think that
you are mocking him.
Your main objective should be to
influence the subconscious. Even if a person is not aware that
you're mirroring him, his subconscious mind realizes it.
The person will subconsciously be
at ease when you duplicate his manners indirectly. He will feel
very comfortable if you're both on the same level.
- Correspond with Their Moods
Correspond with Their Moods If a person youre mirroring have lots of problems, don't come to him in a joyous mood and say, "Don't worry about it. Let's watch a movie so that you'll forget about...
- Developing Rapport
Developing Rapport The ultimate goal of mirroring is to build rapport. It's the time when you and the people youre mirroring feel so close and in synch with each other that you feel like you've known...